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[19 Dec 2009|11:22pm] |
by now its no surprise your frozen heart is a warm paradise
by now the only love you can understand is your little black book romance
but your little black book is a graveyard of faces
that wont call you back
your little black book is an ocean of mistakes
that wont love you back
'cuz no one loves you...but me
'cuz no one wants you...but me
'cuz no one likes you...but me
but you still won't love me back
i cook you dinner, drive you places
buy you roses, nothing changes
do your laundry, rub your back
get you drunk but your heart is black
you dont want my new years kiss
and i dont want to be your second best
this love is a catch-22
but i get a kick out of you
this love is a catch-22
you don't love me and i dont love you
this love is a catch-22
you dont like me and i dont like you
so goodbye
everything we did, everything we don't
so goodbye
everything we want, everything we won't
so say goodbye to black thoughts and white lies
so say goodbye to pink hearts and blue skies
and i must admit that i'll still miss you
even though you skipped town 'cuz i wont kiss you
i must admit that i'll still miss you
even though you were no good to me
'cuz no one loves me...but you
'cuz no one wants me...but you
'cuz no one likes me...but you
but i can't love you back
this love is a catch-22
you don't love me and i dont love you
this love is a catch-22
you dont like me and i dont like you
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[21 Nov 2009|08:07pm] |
finally worked out the lyrics i've wanted to write for weeks. yay fun break-up song.
by now its no surprise that your broken heart is memorized
by now the only love you'll ever understand is your little black book romance
your little black book is a graveyard of faces that wont call you back
your little black book is an ocean of mistakes that wont love you back
cuz nobody loves you ...but me
nobody wants you ...but me
nobody likes you ...but me
but you still don't love me back
i cook you dinner, drive you places
buy you roses, nothing changes
do your laundry, rub your back
get you drunk, but your heart is black
prechorus:
you don't want a new years kiss
i don't want to be second best
your love is a catch twenty two
but i get a kick out of you
chorus:
your love is a catch 22
you don't need me and i don't need you
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[18 Oct 2009|11:13pm] |
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donuts. enough said.
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[10 Oct 2009|02:24pm] |
he called me his man the other night as we laid in bed
and by "bed" i mean a sheet on the floor with 3 KISS blankets on top.
last night, on the way home from the house show he asked if i wanted to go get "schmarried" somewhere. i said 'yes...how about vegas/the donut store?' then we madeout on the green screen at holocene, which was being projected on the dance floor. drunk & classy. every time we go there he gets excited to tell me "this is where we met!" ...i was probably just drunk, but when he fell asleep with his arms around me and kathy griffin's D-list playing on the TV, i teared up. i live for this crap. i am a simple creature, i live to be in love and make music.
and this time 'round its more fun than ever.
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[03 Oct 2009|10:30pm] |
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[26 Sep 2009|10:04pm] |
bite your tongue.
for now, its only fun.
and maybe its better this way
because you mistake commitment for entitlement.
and you're not entitled to anyone else, ever.
you're so excited, you want it to last forever.
but you're older now, you know how it works!
i know you don't like to hear it...
but now is the perfect time to remind yourself...
nothing is permanent.
so fucking have fun.
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[19 Sep 2009|08:20pm] |
oh shit its sweater weather
and there aint nothing better
than cloudy days in mid-september
rainy days were meant for lovers
cuz when its pouring down rain
its warm under the covers
others may disagree
but the rain on my window makes me feel cozy
the trees are dropping leaves
so lets pile 'em up and fill our cup with
hot chocolate and vodka
yeah we're getting tipsy as the seasons are shifting
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[11 Sep 2009|12:36pm] |
he made me ghetto surprise this morning. eggs and cheese and peanut butter toast. obviously, he's as broke as me. its cute. he gets strangely self-conscious when i play with his hair, or when he takes out his contacts and puts on his glasses, or when i play with his (beer)belly. i told him i haven't dated anyone in a year and a half and that he needs to be patient, he told me he hasnt ever had a relationship and hes not sure how it works either. we're like two shy little kids tip-toeing around each other, really wanting to break the ice but we haven't done it yet. he loves sex and the city as much as i do, we watched the movie last night and checked perez this morning for "sequal" updates. its funny how things like this work, when you can feel your old self shedding off and you're suddenly flung into a new chapter. i'm moving out of the apartment i've been in for almost two years. the two years where i found myself come alive again. so much went down in these walls. its bitter sweet to let them go. the truth is, i'm scared to move into this new chapter. i learned how to make myself happy, i don't want to screw it up.
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[01 Sep 2009|03:55pm] |
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we played footsie at the bar. how cute is that?
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[30 Aug 2009|02:25pm] |
"do i seem naive?"
"yes...and it makes you even cuter"
"you're so cuddly, i love it. normally i don't like to cuddle."
"why not?"
"i don't know, i usually prefer my space dot com."
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[07 Aug 2009|07:22pm] |
there's something in your voice when i hear you say
that everything is gunna be okay
that helps me sleep at night
but tonight those words aren't coming without a fight
'cuz i know what you know
and we've seen the same things
that the dreams we are selling
are the dreams no one's buying
but i'm not going to say i'm sorry
i never would, i never will
and if that means that we are dying
at least we go down trying
i know that the big picture is getting farther and farther and farther and farther away
but even if we give up now
we still don't have a way out
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| the fast lane |
[26 Jul 2009|05:19pm] |
i dont know much of anything
but what i do know is
these little lives of ours
where meant to be lived in overdrive
lets leave tonight before your shift is even over
i'll pack the car, if you buy the deodorant
and if we drive fast enough down the 1-oh-1
we can be in california by dawn
just sit back, i'll be your tour guide baby
anywhere you wanna go, you name it
i dont know much of anything
but what i do know is
these beating hearts of ours
were meant to beat in overdrive
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[24 Jul 2009|01:56am] |
here i am thinking its 9 PM
and here it is actually 2 AM
here i am talking about how i hate sharing my bed
and here i am wanting nothing more than to fall asleep with someone in it
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[21 Jul 2009|12:34am] |
i just broke up with yet another guy i wasn't dating.
cool.
it feels like shit every time.
"why does he have to be the most beautiful person i've ever known?"
and every time i say 'i still miss you' i always mean it.
will it ever go away?
also, i think i've lost myself in my own lies.
its not a good sign.
i should really stop dating in general.
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| motivation is key, though its also my reason for not moving |
[07 Jul 2009|03:13am] |
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i haven't written in awhile, at least i feel like i haven't. life things have been weird. i dont have a job, or any savings, my unemployment got denied (tho, i'm appealing it). i can't describe the emotions i've been having. i have so much time on my hands. i've cleared my head of the bullshit of wholefoods. fighting for something i never cared about. its a bag of fucking tricks. a lot of speculation as to why i need a job in the first place. part of me wants to live on nothing. i dont care about what money can buy. and when i have money, all i can think about is spending it. its a fucking bag of tricks. all i care about is creating and expressing and doing crazy shit because i dream it up. making every mundane dream a reality because thats how life should be lived. i think my obsession with such a juvenile look, approach, and sound is rooted in the problem i am currently facing now. as a child life is a dream, its fun, promising, bright, and simple. but as an adult life seems to become dull and complicated and stressful and a dead end. everything has been done before, art is a regurgitation of itself. but i DONT want to ADD anything. i want to take away. i want it to be simple again. primary colors and shapes. smiley faces and best friends forever. i want to feel sad about this but i want it to sound happy. i want to write songs about being so drunk i'll fuck/settle for whatever boy i see, with a chorus that's sung using acronyms like a high school cheer. its not irony. its not satire. its just who i am. and as electronic and programmed this is, its the most organic thing i've ever done. and beyond rewarding. we'll see how things pan out.
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[25 Jun 2009|01:52pm] |
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my mom just told me they call her a cougar at work.
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[21 Jun 2009|01:41am] |
we're in the heat of the storm
and when it rains it pours
when the going gets rough
well, the rough gets going
and it don't stop for nobody
it doesn't matter
oh, it doesn't matter
which side of the bed you woke up on today
cuz it doesn't matter
oh, it doesn't matter
cuz they're one and the same
cat got your tongue but you're tongue tied
and you're tied down to your plan B life
i put my heart in a rainy day fund
for thunder storms and shotguns
i put my trust in what my hands can do
id rather write the end than wait for you
cat got your tongue but you're tongue tied
and you're tied down to your plan B life
you got a nice job, and you got a cute wife
you got a big house and you got a sweet ride
it doesn't matter
oh, it doesn't matter
which side of the bed you woke up on today
cuz it doesn't matter
oh, it doesn't matter
cuz they're one and the same
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[12 Jun 2009|06:50pm] |
this was suppose to be a blessing in disguise
its more like a nightmare.
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| caw |
[09 Jun 2009|08:40pm] |
Vagina Vagina Vagina
I think I like vagina now.
Aren't your 20s the time for experimentation?
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| Sending you something beautiful: |
[07 Jun 2009|04:00pm] |
Serious Business - Arms Length
i want to take it fast
you want to take it slow
you want to hold my hand
but i'd rather take you home
'cuz i don't care about tomorrow
and i care even less for control
i don't need to be your friend
when all i want is you to say my name
i don't need your picket fence
when i have a king size bed
i don't need your theology
to make me feel weak in the knees
i don't need your kiss goodnight
i can fall asleep just fine
i don't need you to tell me i'm beautiful
it only makes me feel worse when i close the door
the only thing i want from you is
to stay at arms length
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brokenprojector's journal